


Love Letter to Nobody

by Madam_Violet



Series: Let there be Light [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Bittersweet, But it's still Twissy right ?, F/M, It's about the Lumiat, The Lumiat remembers, twissy, vague Nightwish references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27164258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Madam_Violet
Summary: Every year, the Lumiat leaves a letter in the Doctor's old mailbox.But this year is different and this letter will be the last one.
Relationships: Twelfth Doctor/Missy
Series: Let there be Light [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982788
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Love Letter to Nobody

For the Doctor.

This is my last letter, I promise. Not that the other ones bothered you, you don't even know I have written them. I'm not even sure you know I am alive and well.

I have been thinking about this day for a long time. Nothing really interesting happened today. I went shopping. Bought myself a new pyjama, all pink and fluffy and ordered a tea at the nearby cafeteria. It was a pretty dull day, actually, far from what I had expected for such an important moment.

I think I am happy. 

I know you are terrible with dates, so you probably wonder what day it is, or why I suddenly come to your old mail box at St Luke University to add one more letter to the sealed ones already cluttering it.

Just 150 years ago, you saved my life, and tomorrow, it will be 75 years since I died. 

75 years with you in my Vault. 75 years wandering in the universe, all by myself.

Today is more than an anniversary, it's a gate in time. A point of no return. As if time had such things as points of return. But you get what I mean.

Tomorrow, I'll have spent more time alone than in your company.

It's such a lonely thought, like watching the coast disappear while sailing toward eternity. 

But I think I am happy.

Your face is fading slowly from my memories. This old face all eyebrows and disapproving eyes, and this smile that made me want to quit everything to run away with you. I saw you a few times, but I don't think you saw me. Unless you ignored me just like I ignored you. The universe is so small after all. I am happy you are still alive, and happy you have a new face because you are no longer my Doctor. My Doctor faded away the day I died.

I think I am happy.

The pain in my chest is gone. I don't remember when it went away, but when I woke up this morning, it wasn't there. I was happy to be alive.

I've wished I wouldn't feel for you anymore.

I've wished it over and over again, until I realised it was the thought of you that made me wake up for another day.

But now I am happy.

I don't live for you anymore. I don't need to. The days I spent with you are woven into my biodata like golden threads. I don't mind if sometimes you think about me or if you have forgotten my mere existance. All what matters is that you've changed my entire life. I don't know if you managed to make me good, but you made me alive. You made me, the person I became, the very person writing those lines. 

And this is why I close my eyes and I sail serenely towards eternity. I am guided by those memories of us, as they shine like distant stars above my head, waiting for me when darkness falls.

I am happy, I am alive. I am breathing and smiling and feeling.

I am your legacy.

I am the Lumiat and I walk alone.

PS : I know you aren't the Doctor, whoever you are who read this letter. You can bring this letter with you in the universe, but under any circumstances, do not try to get in contact with them.


End file.
